Sooo.....

 I just reread my 2019 Post where I rail at Politics and Christians and how much I hate going to Church.

I wonder if God just shook His head and chuckled to Himself and muttered, "just you wait, precious."

I can count on one hand the times I have been in Church this year.  And that was before The Pandemic.  I did venture once After for a funeral, and I am counting that on the same hand.  I never thought I could do it - give up church - without a huge sense of guilt.  Like Catholic level guilt.  But the way things have shaken out this year, it has been one of the best gifts.   

I said Gift.  And I meant it.  Not going to church has been life giving.  And I am not the only one.

Its also given me some clarity.   Clarity that Church are the people.  Its not the Building.  Its not the Business (if you dont believe Church is a business, then please just skip on down).

This year, Church has been GroupMe with my BSers (Bible Study).  Church was my Luther Girls group text.   Church was Sunday mornings with coffee in a so quiet house and taking the day to just be.  Church was guarding what I do so I can see my parents face to face and my mom can hug me.   Church was knowing my Kid and her Husband are even more careful for the same reasons.   Church was crochet.  Church was good food, good recipes, good kitchen utensils, good texts between a Love as we share recipes and Yums.   Church was convos with those who are where I am and ruminating over the same things.  It was deepening friendships with beautiful women who are multiple time zones and oceans away. It was books.  It was even social media - certain social media and certain people.  It was crying hard, prostrate before God, begging Him to heal.  Heal so much.  Church was God still sitting beside me.

No one could have predicted what this year was going to look like....well, the Overlords knew it was coming.  I jest.  It was stressful, depressing, devastating for many.  So many died who, but for this, would have continued to live years.  Families forever changed.  Lives forever altered.

And in the middle of all this loss, we threw in a Presidential election.  For the love.

Believer - this past year was made for Christians to love neighbors.  Never in our lifetimes have our Neighbors needed us more.  Never.   With depression, addiction, loneliness, abuse, suicide at all time highs. Throw in evictions and hunger.  Christians should be at the front of the line to stand with those who feel ignored and victimized.  We should be the first to work to understand and change.  We should be the first place people know they can be fed and sheltered.  

And where were Christians?   Demanding their "rights".  

Church - read the room. 

Better yet, read Paul.  You know, the Roman with all the "rights" but yielded them for the greater glory?  The one who worked along side every group of people he tried to reach?   The one who circumcised Timothy (poor dude) just to get the opportunity to tell Jews about Jesus?   The one who didnt exercise his "rights" until it would get him an opportunity to tell Caesar and his household about Jesus.  The one who was flexible in what he ate and what he "observed" to be all things to all people. That Paul.  That Paul that would have gladly worn a mask if it got him closer to people to tell them about Jesus.  That Paul that would have stood with those chanting that Black lives matter.  That Paul who have spent what he had making sure his neighbors had what they needed.  That Paul. 

Because people didnt have what they needed.  They didnt because the economy was decimated by Government.  The Power - The Roman Empire.  They didnt have what they needed because Churches closed ranks.  When budgets are more than half salary and benefits - they cant be closed long.   Its a business that relies on people coming in the doors.  And the people coming in were more demanding of their Rights than demanding justice or concern for their neighbors.  And to keep money coming in, they let the people come in, any way they wanted.  Because that was the priority.  People in the doors equals money.   But not everyone was there when Churches reopened their doors.  And therefore budgets suffered.  And in that suffering budget atmosphere, "benevolence" was the first thing to go.  Look - I understand the argument - the people that work at churches have families and such.  I get it.  But is that what Church is supposed to look like?  Is it supposed to look like a business where the bottom line dictates what is done?   I mean - Churches took PPP.   Churches who dont pay taxes, but were quick with their hands out.   Not to give money away to those that needed, but to cover themselves.  Church is a business. 

I loathe the set up of the American Church.  Its gross to me.  I also love so many that work in them.   The above paragraph was hard to write.  It was also cut out and copied back in too many times.  I left it because it was true.

It is no secret I am not a fan in how the American Church conducts business.  And in "normal" times, its an annoyance, but in dire times, its an abomination.  Its deadly - putting on their lifejackets first and then shrugging to all those drowning people around them.  And I totally am open to criticism that Churches have never been faced with situations like 2020.  True story.  It very well might be "unfair" to call out Churches who scrambled and made poor decisions in situations where they had no prior experience.  (I tried so hard not to use the word "unprecedented".)   But its not an excuse any more.  When 2021 continues the nightmare that was 2020, Church, be the freak ready, because you have seen this before.

And yet.  And yet, a year after my 2019 post where I felt so isolated and alone, sad, this year, I am hopeful.  Because I am not alone.  We who want different are Legion.  And we are growing.  Because 2021 doesnt magically end the pain and the suffering of 2020.  It doesnt.  Church, Believer, His mercies are new every morning and in so doing, we have opportunity.  Time for repentance and change.  Time to make new plans and new ways of doing.  Time to Love.  Time to be a neighbor.  Time to stand up to Power.  (The Church shouldnt be that Power - that would make them the Jewish Pharisees.)  Time to shift alliances to the Poor.  The Orphan.  The Widow.  The Sick.  The Imprisoned.  Time to yield our "rights".

And even with all the above I have written, I never thought I would say this, but I will go back to "church".  I dont know what it will look like. Or where it will be.  But I can say it wont have "experiences".  It wont entertain.  It wont all look like me.  Church will also expand.  Church will be at my dinner table.   Church will be on the porch.  Church will be on the couch with coffee and crochet.  Church will be on my phone even.  Because while the Church that is business and building was left behind for me in 2020, The Church - Christ's Bride - became all the more real for me.  She is skin in beautiful shades.  She is hands and feet, and mouth.  She is laughter and lament.  She cries tears and she rejoices.  She has hard conversations.  She is wrong, she asks forgiveness.  She reconciles.  She learns.  She loves.  She is me, Believer.  And she is you.  

Bring it 2021.  I am stronger for having been through 2020.  I am stronger for whom I have surrounded myself with.  So just Bring it.