DONT HOMESCHOOL DURING COVID from a Homeschool mom

We moved to our farm almost 11 years ago.   We had assumed our kids would continue in the private school they had all entered as baby Kindergartners.   When we realized that it didn't meet the needs of the boys, we pulled them out to homeschool.   The girlie graduated and did just fine where she was - we just did what was best for each kid.

So, now you know I am a homeschool mom.   I chose this.    Well, honestly, I felt God telling me, me telling Him that He was wrong, and me learning He actually knew what He was talking about.   Anyway, I knew this is what I was supposed to do.  That didn't make it easy.  Kind of like parenting - hardest thing you will ever choose to do.

I was so excited that first summer before we started.  I had such grand plans - I had visited all the successful homeschool mom blogs and it looked easy enough.  Color coded folders, rolling drawer sets, compliant children.  Easy.   Bless my heart.

And then it wasn't.   These 2 boys didn't jump to attention when I told them to do something.   There was no internal drive/structure that made them want to get their work done - I mean, who cares, its just mom.   They picked at each other.   They annoyed the crap out of me.   For the love, you two, get out of my house and go roam the 160 acres and don't come home for at least an hour or dinner.  Either one.

But I had an ace in my back pocket.   A beautiful woman who had done this all before me.  She walked along side me with encouragement and the best advice.   Relationship first.  Education second.

WHAT IS THIS DRIVEL?   THEY MUST HAVE AN EDUCATION!!!   But she was right.

New Homeschool Momma - whether this educational style was forced on you or you chose it, it will not be forever.   They will either go back to school at some point or they will move on with their lives as young adults - however it happens, you will still have RELATIONSHIP.   It needs to be the primary goal. 

But what about their education.   Your precious children will not get a perfect education in public school.  (Of course a homeschool mom would say this, PS hater.)    Your precious children, my precious child, did not get a perfect education in private school, and we paid for that sucker.    Your precious children, and my 2 boys, will not/did not get a perfect education in homeschool.

So, right now take that potential mom guilt off your shoulders.   It doesn't mean you don't do anything - it means there is grace to try and fail.   There is grace to fail and get back up and try again.  Because you will fail.   You will learn that one kid LOVES print out sheets and they work great for that kid - print the heck out of stuff for that munchkin.   And you will learn that the same thing will bring another kid to tears but if he can read while he ripsticks around the house, then he can remember everything.   One kid loves reading in the hammock outside and one kid loves you to read to him while he builds with Legos and you swear he isn't paying attention, but he remembers everything you read.

My Ace has a saying to remember, "Life is school."   It means those twerps are watching us.   They see what is important, what we spend time on.   They see us read or cook or learn something or practice our hobby.   School can be so much more than a worksheet. 

Momma, you are already doing school when you play with your kids, cook with them, read books, go on nature walks.   Your life is already school.   If you want to organize it a little more and add in some math, great.  If you don't during this stressful time, then don't.  You know full well that a math kid will get his math later and be fine and a non-math kid is fine too. 

The idea that life is school means that there is an entire lifetime to learn and taking a break now to foster relationship will reap dividends that yelling over math sheets just wont. 

And don't underestimate how hard it is to learn to be around each other all day.   It is hard.   And we had places to go like the zoo or the museum or the movies.   Let me just fondly reminisce about going to the movies in the middle of the day when everyone was in school.....   That right there is a reason to homeschool.

Homeschooling is hard.   And you were asked to do something YOU DID NOT CHOOSE in the middle of an unprecedented WORLD WIDE PANDEMIC.   Let me guess, the stress is slightly difficult - are you also working from home too?   Husband there as well?   Momma, how are you not drinking wine in your closet at 10:00 a.m.?   You are?  Not judging.

Can I give you some advice?   Let me - take it or not, I want to make your life easier. 

1.  Dont expect them to have kept pace with "book learning".   What the heck is that anyway.   It doesnt matter if they dont finish the last 2 chapters of a textbook.  That books is stretched to meet dates most of all - arbitrary dates.  Finish if you want, take 2 months, dont finish it, who cares.  Really.  Let it go.

2.  Let them choose book(s) and have reading time every day.   Its a nice break for you and a slow down, rest for them.   Reading an actual book does wonders for a kid's brain.  More than you can even imagine.   (Do not read on an electronic device.)   Send them to their rooms to read for a certain period of time.  Everyone reads - you too Momma.   Read something fun or wicked or whatever.   Escape for a bit into a book.

3.  Dinner time can be the worst.   If you have the capabilities - let this be audiobook time.  Pick a fabulous listen - Something by Jim Dale (narrator) - Peter and the StarCatcher series is an excellent listen and have the kids in there with you (I know) helping and listening.  Or park them on bar stools to listen - do what works for you.

4.  Have a library card and check out their apps.   If whoever is reading this in Oklahoma County, download the Overdrive or Libby apps, the Kanopy and Hoopla apps, the Mango app.   In these apps you can watch movies, shows, documentaries, download music, learn language, ebooks and audiobooks.

5.  Have a loose schedule.   Reading times.   Lego times.   Puzzle times.   Run around the house times.  TV times.  Worksheet times.   Times that work for you.   This isn't a time to get everything done, Momma.  Its a time to keep your family together under the uncertainty, uncertainty your kids can feel.   Give yourself permission and freedom to have 3 days in jammies with your kids if that is what you want.

What I promise you is this - your kids will remember this time for the rest of their lives.   You are playing the long game.   And the long game is about relationship and not about math worksheets.  You can do this - you were given these kids and in a time such as this because He knew you were the best one for them, for this.   You have this moment to make lifetime memories for all of you.  Memories in jammies.  Memories cooking.   Memories being together.  Keep your perspective - this will not last forever.   Make the best of it - even in the hard.   I'm rooting for you, Momma.




*Let me know down below what is working for you in your home because it may help someone else too!  Sometimes it hard to see a different way than its always been done. 

Comments